Hi. It’s been a looooonng time since I’ve blogged. I started this blog at least 5 years ago when the Lord revealed to me that writing is a gift of mine, and I abandoned it after college. I’ve been praying for a while now about how to “keep” this blog—for no other reason than to share His faithfulness, His goodness, and His delight in His children. The Lord answered my prayer in unexpected ways, and I just can’t keep what He’s revealed to me to myself.
This has undoubtedly been the most difficult season of my life thus far- not because “horrible” things have happened, but because I’m learning to navigate new waters. In April, my mother in law tragically and unexpectedly passed away. In May, my parents told me that they were moving. Up until this season, I felt that I had some sort of control over my whole life. Why? Because my comfort (my family) was accessible to me whenever I needed it. When my “comfort” was stripped from me, I felt completely lost. The Lord is teaching me who really is in control. And it’s not me. And it’s not my “comfort.”
On the first day of summer, I went to Onyx and journaled & prayed over the coming summer months. I prayed for rest and restoration. I was expectant that the Lord would give me rest, but I didn’t necessarily know what that would look like. I think many of us think of rest as laying on a beach or watching Netflix & having no agenda. For me, this summer has been completely restless. I’ve slept in my own bed for a total of 7 days in 2 months. I’ve experienced anxiety in new ways I didn’t know possible. But, in the midst of it all, The Lord has given me rest. He has restored my soul. From this physically restless season, I’ve learned what true spiritual rest is. His sufficient grace has taught me to abide in Him because when we peer into our future, not only does it cause anxiety, but it also clouds our hearts from seeking the constant Friend we have in Jesus who sustains us in every moment. Anxiety is a feeling— a feeling that God isn’t going to get it right. For me, this caused so much frustration because I knew in my heart that I trusted God, but my constant fear and doubt was sinful. As John Piper puts it, “Feelings are not God. God is God. My feelings do not define truth. God’s word defines truth.” I find so much comfort in knowing that my feelings/anxiety (though they are very real) do not define truth. Jesus sweetly calls us to have peace, and as we continually dwell in Him, He gently releases us from our anxieties that weigh us down.
So, whatever season the Lord has you in—whether you’re clenching your fists in the darkest valleys or singing praises from the rooftops—know that He is restoring you piece by piece. The Lord has been faithful in restoring my confidence as he has proven to be faithful over and over again.
“As Christians, we will sooner or later discover that if is in the valleys of our lives that we find refreshment from God Himself. It is not until we have walked with Him through some very deep troubles that we discover that He can lead us to refreshment in Him right there in the midst of difficulty.” —Phillip Keller
Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. Psalm 23:4
Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Colossians 3:15