Why Wait?

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I’ve been contemplating writing about Cameron and I’s story for a while now.  The enemy tried to tell me lies that the world would think I’m boasting or that I would come off as prideful.  But this morning, as I write this, I realized that I am not going to miss an opportunity to share God’s goodness, grace, and faithfulness.  I am not going to let the enemy win.

About a year ago, I was preparing for two of my best friends’ weddings- both in May.  I told one of them, “I swear I will be the girl with 27 bridesmaid dresses before I even meet anyone.”  And that is really what I thought.  I thought that I wasn’t good enough for a Godly man.  Like I wasn’t spiritually mature enough for a Godly man.  That a Godly man would never think about pursuing me.  As someone who has always desired marriage and a family, singleness was a difficult season for me.  But, when I met the Godly men that both of my best friends were marrying, I decided that I was not going to settle for mediocre relationships like I had in the past.  So I decided to pursue singleness, and I pursued it hard.  During my time of singleness, I wanted to grow into the woman/wife that God intended for me to be.  In doing so, I met with older, wiser, married women, I prayed for my future husband  every day, I made a list of what I wanted in a husband, and I made a list of what kind of wife I wanted to be.  And each day, though I was and still am extremely far from perfect, I strived to become more like Christ.  Temptations were thrown my way more than ever before, but I pressed on and focused on Christ, myself, friends, and college.  During that season, I grew so much and I realized why God hadn’t brought me anyone yet.  He kept me single for so long so that I would realize that He and only He is my fulfillment.  I am certain that the moment I realized that Christ alone is where my hope is found, He introduced me to Cameron.  And I am so so so thankful that I intently waited and did not settle for anything else.  

Fast forward to August 30th 2015.  I was working at Christ Community Church on the Children’s Ministry team and there was a pizza party after the church service.  I don’t even like pizza that much, but I went anyways.  When I walked in, I saw Cameron for the first time ever-he was wearing khaki shorts, a red shirt, and chacos…I am pathetic, I know. 🙂  We passed by each other and I distinctly remember locking eyes.  I turned to my friend next to me and said, “I am going to marry that guy one day.”  No lie, without even ever talking to him, I really did say that.  She said, “Oh he’s in my bible study.  He is single.”  We laughed and I kinda forgot about it for a bit.  The next thing I know, we were facebook friends, then we began hanging out with another couple from the church, then he asked me to go to Joplin for a surprise birthday party where I met his entire family, then he asked if he could pursue me on November 20th.  And, on March 24th, he asked me to be his forever.  And let me just say, that list that I was talking about earlier (about the qualities I wanted in a husband), God completely exceeded my expectations.  And, that is what He does.  “Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us..” Eph 3:20.

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Let’s get to the point.  I am not writing this to share about our love story, but I am writing this as an encouragement to all the girls (which I know there are many) who struggle with singleness like I did.  My advice to you is to keep pressing on towards our ever so gracious Father who truly wants to fulfill the desires of our hearts, but in His timing.  There is something so beautiful about being content with exactly where God has you. Do not let the enemy win with his lies of “You aren’t good enough” or “God won’t do that for you.”  Because our Father can, will, and is far more than able.

“Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37:4

-H

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